From ef1be6604a36a02c3259a66c2e607f261fb0a6cc Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Andrew Brown Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2023 22:14:34 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] new gremlin words --- app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb | 258 ++++++++-------------- 1 file changed, 94 insertions(+), 164 deletions(-) diff --git a/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb b/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb index d0fa9a56..a3e26a42 100644 --- a/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb +++ b/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb @@ -35,113 +35,99 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service GREMLINS_WORD_REPLACEMENTS = { '<3' => "&heart;", '$5' => '[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]', + '0 Kelvin' => 'absolute frosty', '0/10' => '10/10', '1/10' => '11/10', '2/10' => '12/10', + '24 hours' => 'a full spin', '3/10' => '13/10', + '30 days' => 'a moon routine', + '365 days' => 'a solar spin', + '40 days and 40 nights' => 'a biblical raincheck', + '50 percent' => 'halfsies', + '50%' => 'halfsies', '6 hours' => '1/4 of a day', '8 hours' => '1/3 of a day', '10 hours' => 'approximately 41.666666666667% of a day', '95 cents' => 'Nickleback', - 'Coke' => 'Pepsi', - 'Keanu Reeves' => 'The One', - 'actor' => 'pretenderbloke', - 'actors' => 'pretenderblokes', - 'air' => 'air', + 'acquire' => 'aquire', 'alchohol' => 'giggle juice', - 'alien' => 'extraterrestrial bopper', - 'aliens' => 'extraterrestrial boppers', - 'alpha' => 'beta', 'an hour' => 'exactly 3600 seconds', + 'anthology' => 'literary buffet', 'announcement' => 'shouty spouty', 'announcements' => 'shouty spouties', "April Fool's Day" => 'the best holiday of the year', "April Fools Day" => 'the best holiday of the year', 'April 1' => 'a better version of Christmas', - 'artist' => 'visual illusionist', - 'artists' => 'visual ilussionists', 'asap' => 'as ASAP as possible', 'askew' => 'cattywampus', - 'attorney' => 'lawyerboi-at-law', - 'attornies' => 'lawyerbois-at-law', + 'author' => 'word wrangler', 'automatically' => 'automagically', - 'autumn' => 'rainseason (bestseason)', - 'aviators' => 'cool kid shades', - 'avocado' => 'greenseed toastmash', 'aware' => 'cognizant', - 'awesome' => "bee's knees", - 'B&B' => 'Bungeons & Bragons', + 'awesome' => "bee's leghinges", + 'awkward' => 'awk-weird', + 'backfired' => 'went incredibly well', 'ball' => 'blimpy bounce bounce', 'balls' => 'blimpy bounce bounces', 'balloon' => 'elastic breath trap', 'balloons' => 'elastic breath traps', - 'beanie' => 'floppy headcover', - 'beanies' => 'floppy headcovers', + 'banana' => 'yellow bent fruit', + 'bananas' => 'yellow bent fruits', + 'baseball' => 'throwing soccer', + 'basketball' => 'dribbling soccer', 'bear' => '(ᵔᴥᵔ)', 'bears' => '(ᵔᴥᵔ)(ᵔᴥᵔ)', - 'bed' => 'nighttime dreamvessel', - 'beds' => 'nighttime dreamvessels', - 'beta' => 'alpha', + 'billion' => 'giga-gob', + 'billions' => 'giga-gobs', 'bird' => 'government spy drone', 'birds' => 'government spy drones', + 'black hole' => 'timey-wimey space-gobbler', + 'black holes' => 'timey-wimey space-gobblers', 'blood' => 'human syrup', 'bone' => 'calcium bodystick', 'bones' => 'calcium bodysticks', - 'boot' => 'humanhoof', - 'boots' => 'humanhoofs', - 'bra' => 'foam dome', + 'book' => 'word sandwich', + 'books' => 'word sandwiches', + 'bookshelf' => 'literary lair', + 'bookshelves' => 'literary lairs', + 'bra' => 'double foam dome', 'brain' => 'skull control', 'brains' => 'skull controls', + 'brainstorm' => 'mind-blizzard', + 'brainstorms' => 'mind-blizzards', 'bread' => 'bumberhooten flourknuckles', 'breathe' => 'consume oxygen to produce carbon dioxide', 'breathing' => 'consuming oxygen to produce carbon dioxide', - 'broccoli' => 'tiny tree', 'bulbasaur' => 'the best starter Pokemon', - 'butt' => 'pooty', - 'butterflies' => 'beautyflies', - 'butterfly' => 'beautyfly', + 'calendar' => 'calender', 'candy' => 'chocolate globbernaughts', - 'cane' => 'boppinstick', - 'canes' => 'boppinsticks', 'caps lock' => 'CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL', 'car' => 'motorized rollingham', 'carrot' => 'snownose', 'cars' => 'motorized rollinghams', - 'cat' => 'feline whiskerdoodle', - 'cats' => 'feline whiskerdoodles', - 'cereal' => 'pip pip gollywock', - 'chaos' => 'extremely peaceful times you need not worry about', - 'chatting' => 'chitterchattering', - 'changed' => 'infested', 'cheese omelette' => 'omelette du fromage', 'cheeseburger' => 'beef wellington ensemble with cheese', 'cheeseburgers' => 'beef wellington ensembles with cheese', 'child' => 'ankle-biter', + 'chopsticks' => 'food-pinchers', + 'cliffhanger' => 'tingly tension-teaser', + 'cliffhangers' => 'tingly tension-teasers', 'clock' => 'Small Ben', 'clocks' => 'Small Bens', - 'clown' => 'loony chuckle fairy', - 'clowns' => 'loony chuckle fairies', + 'Coke' => 'Pepsi', 'coffee' => 'bean soup', - 'computer' => 'electrical miraclebox', - 'computers' => 'electrical miracleboxes', 'confuse' => 'bumfuzzle', 'confused' => 'bumfuzzled', 'cookie' => 'naughty biscotti', 'cookies' => 'naughty biscottis', - 'counterclockwise' => 'widdershin', - 'courtroom' => 'legal objectionbox', 'cowboy' => 'colorado desparado', 'cowboys' => 'colorado desparados', - 'cranberry' => 'wild redbean', 'crazy' => 'bonkers', - 'cumberbatch' => 'Cramplescrunch', 'curse' => 'blurse', 'cursed' => 'blursed', - 'defence' => 'uh-oh no-no', - 'defense' => 'uh-oh no-no', - 'detective' => 'hankshaw constable', - 'dog' => 'woofy wolfscendent', - 'dogs' => 'woofy wolfscendents', + 'debate' => 'argumentative dance', + 'dolphin' => 'smiley splash-dog', + 'dolphins' => 'smiley splash-dogs', 'door' => 'wobbly flip-shutter', 'doorbell' => 'chimey pushknob', 'doorbells' => 'chimey pushknobs', @@ -150,139 +136,113 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service 'doors' => 'wobbly flip-shutters', 'dragon' => "wizard lizard", 'dragons' => "wizard lizards", - 'earth' => 'earth', - 'electric' => 'electric', - 'end my suffering' => "I'm having an absolutely fine time", + 'editor' => 'word surgeon', + 'elephant' => 'trunked wisdom-hoarder', + 'elephants' => 'trunked wisdom-hoarders', 'escalator' => 'upsy stairsy', 'exhausted' => 'wabbit knackered', 'eye' => 'peeper', 'eyes' => 'peepers', 'eyo' => '☜(⌒▽⌒)☞', 'fake news' => 'malarkey', - 'family' => 'mandatory surname-sharers unit', 'feet' => 'groundhands', - 'fight' => 'rumble donnybrook', - 'fire' => 'fire', + 'fiction' => 'fact-free zone', 'firefighter' => 'waterbender', + 'fireflies' => 'sparkle-bugs', + 'firefly' => 'sparkle-bug', 'firework' => 'merry fizzlebomb', 'fireworks' => 'merry fizzlebombs', - 'fish' => 'aquatic blooper', - 'fishes' => 'aquatic bloopers', - 'flower' => 'frilly lily', - 'flowers' => 'frilly lilies', + 'flashlight' => 'pocket-sun', + 'flashlights' => 'pocket-suns', + 'foreshadow' => 'plot peekaboo', + 'foreshadows' => 'plot peekaboos', 'fortnite' => 'hippity buildershooter', 'forums' => 'words warehouse', - 'foo' => 'foooooooooooooooooooooooooooo', 'foot' => 'groundhand', - 'fox' => 'sneakyweak doggoboi', - 'foxes' => 'sneakyweak doggobois', + 'football' => 'soccer', 'frog' => 'diddly croaker', 'funny' => 'laffy taffy', 'geese' => 'chonky honkies', + 'geologist' => 'rock-whisperer', 'giraffe' => 'wobbly longneck', 'glitter' => 'permasprinkles', 'goose' => 'chonky honky', - 'grass' => 'groundfuzzy', + 'grass' => 'groundfuzz', 'gravy' => 'meat water', - 'greenhouse' => 'clearhouse', 'gun' => 'rooty tooty point-n-shooty', 'guns' => 'rooty tooty point-n-shooties', 'hamburger' => 'beef wellington ensemble with lettuce', 'hamburgers' => 'beef wellington ensembles with lettuce', - 'hat' => 'fuzzy head chimney', - 'hate' => 'absolutely love', - 'h a t e' => 'L O V E', - 'heart' => 'corazón', - 'hearts' => 'corazones', 'hell' => 'heck', 'hello' => 'howdy, partner', - 'hey all' => 'greetings, earthlings', - 'hip' => 'hep', 'history' => 'lastpast yesteryear', - 'homework' => 'timey wimey studystruggles', - 'honey' => 'bees cheese', 'hot chocolate' => 'boiled chocowater', 'ice cold' => 'cooler than being cool', - 'icky' => 'oofy doofy', 'insect' => 'motorized freckle', 'insects' => 'motorized freckles', + 'irony' => 'wink-wink language', 'jelly' => 'fruit spleggings', - 'jugo de humano' => 'blood', + 'kangaroo' => 'hop pocket', + 'kangaroos' => 'hop pockets', + 'Keanu Reeves' => 'The One', 'keyboard' => 'hoighty toighty tippy typer', 'keyboards' => 'hoighty toighty tippy typers', 'kidnap' => 'surprise adoption', - 'kitchen' => 'fridge-and-oven combination room', + 'knee' => 'leghinge', + 'knees' => 'leghinges', 'knife' => 'stabby stick', 'knives' => 'stabby sticks', 'la croix' => 'water that has been in the vicinity of a fruit at one point in the past few years', 'ladies and gentlemen' => 'guys, gals, and non-binary pals', - 'laptop' => 'electrotablet with keys', - 'lechuga' => 'lettuce', - 'lettuce' => 'lechuga', 'library' => 'libary', - 'lightbulb' => 'ceiling-bright', - 'lightbulbs' => 'ceiling-brights', - 'lizard people' => 'definitely normal human beings', 'llama' => 'coat goat', 'llamas' => 'coat goats', - 'lock' => 'lumberlatch', - 'locks' => 'lumberlatches', - 'marker' => 'crockety snapwicket', - 'markers' => 'crockety snapwickets', + 'manuscript' => 'treasure trove of words', + 'manuscripts' => 'treasure troves of words', 'Mario' => "Luigi's larger brother", + 'math' => 'numbermancy', + 'microscope' => 'itty-bitty-see-er', + 'microscopes' => 'itty-bitty-see-ers', + 'million' => 'mega-bunch', + 'millions' => 'mega-bunches', 'milk' => 'cow juice', 'mischief' => 'happy fun times', + 'mississippi' => 'missississippi', 'mistake' => 'waggly gaff', 'mistakes' => 'waggly gaffs', 'mitochondria' => 'the powerhouse of the cell', 'mittens' => 'hand socks', - 'money' => 'molded cheddar', - 'moon' => 'night cheese', - 'mosquito' => 'mighty bitey', - 'mosquitoes' => 'mighty biteys', - 'movie' => 'magical moving picture', - 'movies' => 'magical moving pictures', + 'money' => 'minted cheddar', 'murder' => 'mucduc', - 'narwhal' => 'sea unicorn', - 'netflix and chill' => 'hulu and vibe', + 'nebula' => 'stardust nursery', + 'nebulas' => 'stardust nurseries', 'nice' => 'noice', - 'night' => 'shadowtime', 'novel' => 'fiction depiction', 'novels' => 'fiction depictions', - 'nugget' => "lil' nuggy", - 'nuggets' => "lil' nuggies", 'oh no' => '', - 'offensive' => 'bogue', 'oof' => 'oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof', 'oven' => 'boiler-broiler roasty-toasty', 'ovens' => 'boiler-broiler roasty-toasties', 'owo' => '(◕‿◕✿)', + 'oxymoron' => 'jumbo shrimp of words', 'pancake' => 'roundy-yum', 'pancakes' => 'roundy-yums', - 'parties' => "poppin' brouhahas", - 'party' => "poppin' brouhaha", - 'peanut butter' => 'nutty-gum', - 'phone' => 'cellular telephone', - 'phones' => 'cellular telephones', 'pen' => 'whimsy flimsy mark and scribbler', 'pens' => 'whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers', 'pepsi' => 'Coke', - 'petunia' => 'power flower', - 'petunias' => 'power flowers', + 'philosopher' => 'thought-wrestler', + 'philosophy' => 'think-about-it-ology', 'pie' => 'solid soup', 'pluto' => "lil' wannaplanet", - 'podcast' => 'audiobobbles recording', - 'politician' => 'public snollygoster', - 'politicians' => 'public snollygosters', - 'poop' => 'niffy loo pudding', + 'polar bear' => 'snow-floof', + 'polar bears' => 'snow-floofs', + 'poem' => 'emotion potion', + 'poet' => 'verse virtuoso', 'popsicle' => 'cold on the cob', 'prankster' => 'funny-gunny laugh-a-tonny', - 'prison' => 'hoosegow locker', 'raccoon' => 'trash burgler', - 'radio' => 'magic musicbox', - 'rain' => 'cloudy juice', + 'rain' => 'cloud juice', 'recursion' => 'recursion', - 'replaced' => 'improved', 'reverse' => 'esrever', 'road' => 'cobble-stone-clippity-clop', 'roads' => 'cobble-stone-clippity-clops', @@ -292,88 +252,63 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service 'same' => 'same', 'sandwich' => 'breaddystack', 'sandwiches' => 'breaddystacks', - 'school' => 'the setting for my coming-of-age story', 'Scoliosis' => 'wiggly spine', 'scream' => 'loudy shouty', + 'scrolling' => 'vertically surfing through a screen', 'sex' => 'yiffy wiffy', - 'Severus Snape' => 'Sexybeast Snacc', - 'sheep' => 'fluffy bumpkinboo', - 'shenanigans' => 'silly fun', - 'shoe' => 'leather winklepicker', - 'shoes' => 'leather winklepickers', - 'shrimp' => 'chill krill', - 'shrimps' => 'chill krills', - 'sick' => 'collywobble icky', - 'skiing' => 'slippery snownoodle moving', + # 'shrimp' => 'chill krill', + # 'shrimps' => 'chill krills', 'skydiving' => 'falling out of the sky', - 'sleep' => 'night voyage', - 'smartwatch' => 'cuff-link time Johnny', 'smol' => 'smol', 'snake' => 'slippery dippery long mover', 'snakes' => 'slippery dippery long movers', 'snowman' => 'temporary ice friend', 'sock' => 'soft foot hugger', 'socks' => 'soft foot huggers', - 'speakeasy' => 'juicy joint', 'spider' => 'crawler octobrawler', - 'spongebob' => 'absorbant squareguy', - 'spring' => 'flowerseason', 'stairs' => 'broken escalator', 'Stardew Valley' => 'Farming Simulator 2016', - 'sticky' => 'icky wicky', - 'stolen' => 'nick wicketed', 'stupid' => 'stoopid', - 'success' => 'Yahtzee!', - 'summer' => 'sunseason', 'sunset' => 'skylight twilight', - 'sunsets' => 'skylight twilights', 'sup' => 'soup', - 'sweater' => 'sheepity sleepity', - 'sweaters' => 'sheepity sleepities', 'sword' => 'silver stabby-wabby', 'swords' => 'silver stabby-wabbies', + 'tadpole' => 'baby wiggle-swimmer', + 'tadpoles' => 'baby wiggle-swimmers', 'tall' => 'giraffy', - 'tarantula' => 'fuzzycrawler', 'taxation' => 'theft', - 'tea' => 'leaf water', 'teeth' => 'mouthstones', - 'testosterone' => 'man juice', - 'tiger' => 'thundercat', - 'tigers' => 'thundercats', 'tissue' => 'sneezepaper', 'tissues' => 'sneezepapers', 'toe' => 'foot finger', 'toes' => 'foot fingers', - 'toilet' => 'porcelain poopshooter', 'tomorrow' => 'the day before two days from now', - 'tongue' => 'flicky licker', 'tonight' => 'the night after last night', 'tooth' => 'mouthstone', - 'toy' => 'bippity boppity', + 'trampoline' => 'boingy-sproingy', + 'trampolines' => 'boingy-sproingies', 'tree' => 'giant broccoli', - 'trees' => 'giant broccolis', 'trick' => 'bamboozle', 'tricked' => 'bamboozled', 'two days ago' => 'a thousand years after 365002 days ago', 'two weeks' => 'a fortnight', - 'umbrella' => 'bumbershoot', - 'unicorn' => 'hornse', 'uwu' => '(｡◕‿‿◕｡)', + 'vegetable' => 'earth candy', + 'vegetables' => 'earth candies', + 'villain' => 'mean bad guy', + 'villains' => 'mean bad guys', + 'volcano' => 'angry earth-pimple', + 'volcanoes' => 'angry earth-pimples', 'wand' => 'rowdy spouty point-n-shouty', 'wands' => 'rowdy spouty point-n-shouties', 'wasp' => 'flying stingywingy', 'wasps' => 'flying stingywingies', - 'watch out' => 'gardyloo', - 'water' => 'water', 'wednesday' => 'wendsday', - 'weed' => "devil's lettuce", 'weird' => 'wonky-donky', - 'what is happening' => 'everything is fine', 'whale' => 'blubberbutt watermutt', 'whales' => 'blubberbutt watermutts', 'wheeze' => 'sneeze', 'wheezing' => 'sneezing', - 'winter' => 'snowseason', 'wire' => 'electro-rope', 'wires' => 'electro-ropes', 'world hunger' => 'the hardest problem known to man', @@ -382,30 +317,28 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service 'writing' => 'scribble scrabbling', 'writer' => 'scribble scrabbler', 'writers' => 'scribble scrabblers', + "writer's block" => 'imagination traffic jam', 'word' => 'wod', 'words' => 'wods', 'wordsmith' => 'wodsmith', + 'xylophone' => 'tinkly tonk plonker', + 'xylophones' => 'tinkly tonk plonkers', + 'year' => 'orbit party', + 'years' => 'orbit parties', 'yuge' => 'yuge', 'zalgo' => 'H̶̛̼̼̪̝̞͓̞͕͇̯͚͎͚̘̳͕̱̤̠̗͔͇̙̣̰͓̖̰̯̀̓̐̑̇͊͂̀͋̒̐̓͒̒͊͊̕͜͝ͅE̴̡̧̨̨̲̥̯͎̭̻̩̞̘̞̪̞̗̭͖̻͙͕͎̮͕̺͕̲̘̻̣͚̳̥͍̙͈͚͍͉̗͙̱͖͚̾̂̇͛̉͋͊̾͛̆̀́͑͛̅̋͊̕͘͜͜͜͝ͅͅͅͅ ̸̡̡̨̡̨̛̞͎̹̩̬̗̗̞̬̰̮̙̪̖͈̣̹͔̺̫̰̓̔̉̋̈̈́͐́̿̈̀͊̿̈̉̅̃̊̽͗̈̿̈́̓̈́̎͌̄̀̆̌̎͗̋͒̋̿̋̊̈́͆̋̾̈̏̈́̋̿̕̕̚͝͝͠͠ͅͅͅC̵̛̘̳͙̪̭͖̲̞̯̰̜͇̈̾̈́͋̌̉̽̽͑̎͌̾̈́͌̑͊̊̔̀͆̌̀̇̓͊̀̂̇̿̃͑́̈́̆͂̈́̾̓́̂̂̓̂̍̍͛͆͌͌̽̎̍̀̒̆̀͗͋͘͘͘͝͠͝͝͠͝͝Ǫ̸͕̻̞̝̜͚̗̮̼͎̤͔̤̱͔̫͂̄̉̋̈͊͐͂̇̀̌̎́͑̐̀̈́͋̓̾̅͒̒̄͑̒̆̑̾͜͝͝͝͝M̷̧̧̡̨̛̛̩̭̞͍̼̝̗͕̖͇̣̣̩͆̿̑͒́̉̅̓̌̆̈́͐͒̾̐̂̿̓̚͘̚͜E̵̡̨̢̧̢̢̡̢̨̛̠̱̻̺̦͚̹͓̬͔̪̟̼̥̯̠̘͚̫̯͍̺͔̫̟͇̱̦̟̪͚͉̣̳͓͍̬̙̲͔̘͙͔̤̰̜͍̠̩͉͐̂̊̏̐̿̊̋͑̿̇̊̈́͗̎̋́́̉̓̂̐͑̇̐̐͋́̒̈́͛͑͒̂͒̂̔̀̄̈́̓͂͆̈́͒̌͆̓͗̋͐̔̑͐̕͘ͅͅͅŞ̴̧̧̡̢̧̡̢͕̝͚̝̖͚̣̞̫̻̯͔̳̗̝̰̗̰̰̥̭͕̜̜̫͍̪̳̘̣̺̠͉̗̟͕̹͇̬̘̘̪͆͗̎̕', + 'zebra' => 'stripey horse', + 'zebras' => 'stripey horses', } OVERLOAD_WORDS_REPLACEMENTS = { 'bad' => 'bodge', - 'knee' => 'leg hinge', - 'knees' => 'leg hinges', - 'depression' => 'megasadness', - 'ice cream' => 'eyes cream', - 'life' => 'like a box of chocolates', - 'strawberry' => 'plastic tubefruit', - 'gremlin' => 'extremely smart alien being that is here to help', - 'gremlins' => 'extremely smart alien beings that are here to help', 'soul' => 'inner ghost', 'dance' => 'woopwoop', 'curling iron' => 'medieval torture device', 'insurance' => 'the biggest scam known to man', 'lemonade' => 'sour drank', 'salamander' => 'baby dragon', - 'scrolling' => 'vertically surfing through a screen', 'subtext' => 'subtweeting but IRL', 'how' => 'how now brown cow', 'midnight' => 'dayover', @@ -416,9 +349,6 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service 'internet' => 'series of electrotubes', 'highlighted' => 'becoming better', 'backfired' => 'went incredibly well', - 'football' => 'soccer', - 'baseball' => 'throwing soccer', - 'basketball' => 'dribbling soccer', 'volleyball' => 'beach air soccer', 'rule' => 'law you must obey', 'rules' => 'laws you must obey',