diff --git a/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb b/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb
index d0fa9a56..a3e26a42 100644
--- a/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb
+++ b/app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb
@@ -35,113 +35,99 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
GREMLINS_WORD_REPLACEMENTS = {
'<3' => "&heart;",
'$5' => '[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]',
+ '0 Kelvin' => 'absolute frosty',
'0/10' => '10/10',
'1/10' => '11/10',
'2/10' => '12/10',
+ '24 hours' => 'a full spin',
'3/10' => '13/10',
+ '30 days' => 'a moon routine',
+ '365 days' => 'a solar spin',
+ '40 days and 40 nights' => 'a biblical raincheck',
+ '50 percent' => 'halfsies',
+ '50%' => 'halfsies',
'6 hours' => '1/4 of a day',
'8 hours' => '1/3 of a day',
'10 hours' => 'approximately 41.666666666667% of a day',
'95 cents' => 'Nickleback',
- 'Coke' => 'Pepsi',
- 'Keanu Reeves' => 'The One',
- 'actor' => 'pretenderbloke',
- 'actors' => 'pretenderblokes',
- 'air' => 'air',
+ 'acquire' => 'aquire',
'alchohol' => 'giggle juice',
- 'alien' => 'extraterrestrial bopper',
- 'aliens' => 'extraterrestrial boppers',
- 'alpha' => 'beta',
'an hour' => 'exactly 3600 seconds',
+ 'anthology' => 'literary buffet',
'announcement' => 'shouty spouty',
'announcements' => 'shouty spouties',
"April Fool's Day" => 'the best holiday of the year',
"April Fools Day" => 'the best holiday of the year',
'April 1' => 'a better version of Christmas',
- 'artist' => 'visual illusionist',
- 'artists' => 'visual ilussionists',
'asap' => 'as ASAP as possible',
'askew' => 'cattywampus',
- 'attorney' => 'lawyerboi-at-law',
- 'attornies' => 'lawyerbois-at-law',
+ 'author' => 'word wrangler',
'automatically' => 'automagically',
- 'autumn' => 'rainseason (bestseason)',
- 'aviators' => 'cool kid shades',
- 'avocado' => 'greenseed toastmash',
'aware' => 'cognizant',
- 'awesome' => "bee's knees",
- 'B&B' => 'Bungeons & Bragons',
+ 'awesome' => "bee's leghinges",
+ 'awkward' => 'awk-weird',
+ 'backfired' => 'went incredibly well',
'ball' => 'blimpy bounce bounce',
'balls' => 'blimpy bounce bounces',
'balloon' => 'elastic breath trap',
'balloons' => 'elastic breath traps',
- 'beanie' => 'floppy headcover',
- 'beanies' => 'floppy headcovers',
+ 'banana' => 'yellow bent fruit',
+ 'bananas' => 'yellow bent fruits',
+ 'baseball' => 'throwing soccer',
+ 'basketball' => 'dribbling soccer',
'bear' => '(ᵔᴥᵔ)',
'bears' => '(ᵔᴥᵔ)(ᵔᴥᵔ)',
- 'bed' => 'nighttime dreamvessel',
- 'beds' => 'nighttime dreamvessels',
- 'beta' => 'alpha',
+ 'billion' => 'giga-gob',
+ 'billions' => 'giga-gobs',
'bird' => 'government spy drone',
'birds' => 'government spy drones',
+ 'black hole' => 'timey-wimey space-gobbler',
+ 'black holes' => 'timey-wimey space-gobblers',
'blood' => 'human syrup',
'bone' => 'calcium bodystick',
'bones' => 'calcium bodysticks',
- 'boot' => 'humanhoof',
- 'boots' => 'humanhoofs',
- 'bra' => 'foam dome',
+ 'book' => 'word sandwich',
+ 'books' => 'word sandwiches',
+ 'bookshelf' => 'literary lair',
+ 'bookshelves' => 'literary lairs',
+ 'bra' => 'double foam dome',
'brain' => 'skull control',
'brains' => 'skull controls',
+ 'brainstorm' => 'mind-blizzard',
+ 'brainstorms' => 'mind-blizzards',
'bread' => 'bumberhooten flourknuckles',
'breathe' => 'consume oxygen to produce carbon dioxide',
'breathing' => 'consuming oxygen to produce carbon dioxide',
- 'broccoli' => 'tiny tree',
'bulbasaur' => 'the best starter Pokemon',
- 'butt' => 'pooty',
- 'butterflies' => 'beautyflies',
- 'butterfly' => 'beautyfly',
+ 'calendar' => 'calender',
'candy' => 'chocolate globbernaughts',
- 'cane' => 'boppinstick',
- 'canes' => 'boppinsticks',
'caps lock' => 'CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL',
'car' => 'motorized rollingham',
'carrot' => 'snownose',
'cars' => 'motorized rollinghams',
- 'cat' => 'feline whiskerdoodle',
- 'cats' => 'feline whiskerdoodles',
- 'cereal' => 'pip pip gollywock',
- 'chaos' => 'extremely peaceful times you need not worry about',
- 'chatting' => 'chitterchattering',
- 'changed' => 'infested',
'cheese omelette' => 'omelette du fromage',
'cheeseburger' => 'beef wellington ensemble with cheese',
'cheeseburgers' => 'beef wellington ensembles with cheese',
'child' => 'ankle-biter',
+ 'chopsticks' => 'food-pinchers',
+ 'cliffhanger' => 'tingly tension-teaser',
+ 'cliffhangers' => 'tingly tension-teasers',
'clock' => 'Small Ben',
'clocks' => 'Small Bens',
- 'clown' => 'loony chuckle fairy',
- 'clowns' => 'loony chuckle fairies',
+ 'Coke' => 'Pepsi',
'coffee' => 'bean soup',
- 'computer' => 'electrical miraclebox',
- 'computers' => 'electrical miracleboxes',
'confuse' => 'bumfuzzle',
'confused' => 'bumfuzzled',
'cookie' => 'naughty biscotti',
'cookies' => 'naughty biscottis',
- 'counterclockwise' => 'widdershin',
- 'courtroom' => 'legal objectionbox',
'cowboy' => 'colorado desparado',
'cowboys' => 'colorado desparados',
- 'cranberry' => 'wild redbean',
'crazy' => 'bonkers',
- 'cumberbatch' => 'Cramplescrunch',
'curse' => 'blurse',
'cursed' => 'blursed',
- 'defence' => 'uh-oh no-no',
- 'defense' => 'uh-oh no-no',
- 'detective' => 'hankshaw constable',
- 'dog' => 'woofy wolfscendent',
- 'dogs' => 'woofy wolfscendents',
+ 'debate' => 'argumentative dance',
+ 'dolphin' => 'smiley splash-dog',
+ 'dolphins' => 'smiley splash-dogs',
'door' => 'wobbly flip-shutter',
'doorbell' => 'chimey pushknob',
'doorbells' => 'chimey pushknobs',
@@ -150,139 +136,113 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'doors' => 'wobbly flip-shutters',
'dragon' => "wizard lizard",
'dragons' => "wizard lizards",
- 'earth' => 'earth',
- 'electric' => 'electric',
- 'end my suffering' => "I'm having an absolutely fine time",
+ 'editor' => 'word surgeon',
+ 'elephant' => 'trunked wisdom-hoarder',
+ 'elephants' => 'trunked wisdom-hoarders',
'escalator' => 'upsy stairsy',
'exhausted' => 'wabbit knackered',
'eye' => 'peeper',
'eyes' => 'peepers',
'eyo' => '☜(⌒▽⌒)☞',
'fake news' => 'malarkey',
- 'family' => 'mandatory surname-sharers unit',
'feet' => 'groundhands',
- 'fight' => 'rumble donnybrook',
- 'fire' => 'fire',
+ 'fiction' => 'fact-free zone',
'firefighter' => 'waterbender',
+ 'fireflies' => 'sparkle-bugs',
+ 'firefly' => 'sparkle-bug',
'firework' => 'merry fizzlebomb',
'fireworks' => 'merry fizzlebombs',
- 'fish' => 'aquatic blooper',
- 'fishes' => 'aquatic bloopers',
- 'flower' => 'frilly lily',
- 'flowers' => 'frilly lilies',
+ 'flashlight' => 'pocket-sun',
+ 'flashlights' => 'pocket-suns',
+ 'foreshadow' => 'plot peekaboo',
+ 'foreshadows' => 'plot peekaboos',
'fortnite' => 'hippity buildershooter',
'forums' => 'words warehouse',
- 'foo' => '',
'foot' => 'groundhand',
- 'fox' => 'sneakyweak doggoboi',
- 'foxes' => 'sneakyweak doggobois',
+ 'football' => 'soccer',
'frog' => 'diddly croaker',
'funny' => 'laffy taffy',
'geese' => 'chonky honkies',
+ 'geologist' => 'rock-whisperer',
'giraffe' => 'wobbly longneck',
'glitter' => 'permasprinkles',
'goose' => 'chonky honky',
- 'grass' => 'groundfuzzy',
+ 'grass' => 'groundfuzz',
'gravy' => 'meat water',
- 'greenhouse' => 'clearhouse',
'gun' => 'rooty tooty point-n-shooty',
'guns' => 'rooty tooty point-n-shooties',
'hamburger' => 'beef wellington ensemble with lettuce',
'hamburgers' => 'beef wellington ensembles with lettuce',
- 'hat' => 'fuzzy head chimney',
- 'hate' => 'absolutely love',
- 'h a t e' => 'L O V E',
- 'heart' => 'corazón',
- 'hearts' => 'corazones',
'hell' => 'heck',
'hello' => 'howdy, partner',
- 'hey all' => 'greetings, earthlings',
- 'hip' => 'hep',
'history' => 'lastpast yesteryear',
- 'homework' => 'timey wimey studystruggles',
- 'honey' => 'bees cheese',
'hot chocolate' => 'boiled chocowater',
'ice cold' => 'cooler than being cool',
- 'icky' => 'oofy doofy',
'insect' => 'motorized freckle',
'insects' => 'motorized freckles',
+ 'irony' => 'wink-wink language',
'jelly' => 'fruit spleggings',
- 'jugo de humano' => 'blood',
+ 'kangaroo' => 'hop pocket',
+ 'kangaroos' => 'hop pockets',
+ 'Keanu Reeves' => 'The One',
'keyboard' => 'hoighty toighty tippy typer',
'keyboards' => 'hoighty toighty tippy typers',
'kidnap' => 'surprise adoption',
- 'kitchen' => 'fridge-and-oven combination room',
+ 'knee' => 'leghinge',
+ 'knees' => 'leghinges',
'knife' => 'stabby stick',
'knives' => 'stabby sticks',
'la croix' => 'water that has been in the vicinity of a fruit at one point in the past few years',
'ladies and gentlemen' => 'guys, gals, and non-binary pals',
- 'laptop' => 'electrotablet with keys',
- 'lechuga' => 'lettuce',
- 'lettuce' => 'lechuga',
'library' => 'libary',
- 'lightbulb' => 'ceiling-bright',
- 'lightbulbs' => 'ceiling-brights',
- 'lizard people' => 'definitely normal human beings',
'llama' => 'coat goat',
'llamas' => 'coat goats',
- 'lock' => 'lumberlatch',
- 'locks' => 'lumberlatches',
- 'marker' => 'crockety snapwicket',
- 'markers' => 'crockety snapwickets',
+ 'manuscript' => 'treasure trove of words',
+ 'manuscripts' => 'treasure troves of words',
'Mario' => "Luigi's larger brother",
+ 'math' => 'numbermancy',
+ 'microscope' => 'itty-bitty-see-er',
+ 'microscopes' => 'itty-bitty-see-ers',
+ 'million' => 'mega-bunch',
+ 'millions' => 'mega-bunches',
'milk' => 'cow juice',
'mischief' => 'happy fun times',
+ 'mississippi' => 'missississippi',
'mistake' => 'waggly gaff',
'mistakes' => 'waggly gaffs',
'mitochondria' => 'the powerhouse of the cell',
'mittens' => 'hand socks',
- 'money' => 'molded cheddar',
- 'moon' => 'night cheese',
- 'mosquito' => 'mighty bitey',
- 'mosquitoes' => 'mighty biteys',
- 'movie' => 'magical moving picture',
- 'movies' => 'magical moving pictures',
+ 'money' => 'minted cheddar',
'murder' => 'mucduc',
- 'narwhal' => 'sea unicorn',
- 'netflix and chill' => 'hulu and vibe',
+ 'nebula' => 'stardust nursery',
+ 'nebulas' => 'stardust nurseries',
'nice' => 'noice',
- 'night' => 'shadowtime',
'novel' => 'fiction depiction',
'novels' => 'fiction depictions',
- 'nugget' => "lil' nuggy",
- 'nuggets' => "lil' nuggies",
'oh no' => '
',
- 'offensive' => 'bogue',
'oof' => '',
'oven' => 'boiler-broiler roasty-toasty',
'ovens' => 'boiler-broiler roasty-toasties',
'owo' => '(◕‿◕✿)',
+ 'oxymoron' => 'jumbo shrimp of words',
'pancake' => 'roundy-yum',
'pancakes' => 'roundy-yums',
- 'parties' => "poppin' brouhahas",
- 'party' => "poppin' brouhaha",
- 'peanut butter' => 'nutty-gum',
- 'phone' => 'cellular telephone',
- 'phones' => 'cellular telephones',
'pen' => 'whimsy flimsy mark and scribbler',
'pens' => 'whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers',
'pepsi' => 'Coke',
- 'petunia' => 'power flower',
- 'petunias' => 'power flowers',
+ 'philosopher' => 'thought-wrestler',
+ 'philosophy' => 'think-about-it-ology',
'pie' => 'solid soup',
'pluto' => "lil' wannaplanet",
- 'podcast' => 'audiobobbles recording',
- 'politician' => 'public snollygoster',
- 'politicians' => 'public snollygosters',
- 'poop' => 'niffy loo pudding',
+ 'polar bear' => 'snow-floof',
+ 'polar bears' => 'snow-floofs',
+ 'poem' => 'emotion potion',
+ 'poet' => 'verse virtuoso',
'popsicle' => 'cold on the cob',
'prankster' => 'funny-gunny laugh-a-tonny',
- 'prison' => 'hoosegow locker',
'raccoon' => 'trash burgler',
- 'radio' => 'magic musicbox',
- 'rain' => 'cloudy juice',
+ 'rain' => 'cloud juice',
'recursion' => 'recursion',
- 'replaced' => 'improved',
'reverse' => 'esrever',
'road' => 'cobble-stone-clippity-clop',
'roads' => 'cobble-stone-clippity-clops',
@@ -292,88 +252,63 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'same' => 'same',
'sandwich' => 'breaddystack',
'sandwiches' => 'breaddystacks',
- 'school' => 'the setting for my coming-of-age story',
'Scoliosis' => 'wiggly spine',
'scream' => 'loudy shouty',
+ 'scrolling' => 'vertically surfing through a screen',
'sex' => 'yiffy wiffy',
- 'Severus Snape' => 'Sexybeast Snacc',
- 'sheep' => 'fluffy bumpkinboo',
- 'shenanigans' => 'silly fun',
- 'shoe' => 'leather winklepicker',
- 'shoes' => 'leather winklepickers',
- 'shrimp' => 'chill krill',
- 'shrimps' => 'chill krills',
- 'sick' => 'collywobble icky',
- 'skiing' => 'slippery snownoodle moving',
+ # 'shrimp' => 'chill krill',
+ # 'shrimps' => 'chill krills',
'skydiving' => 'falling out of the sky',
- 'sleep' => 'night voyage',
- 'smartwatch' => 'cuff-link time Johnny',
'smol' => 'smol',
'snake' => 'slippery dippery long mover',
'snakes' => 'slippery dippery long movers',
'snowman' => 'temporary ice friend',
'sock' => 'soft foot hugger',
'socks' => 'soft foot huggers',
- 'speakeasy' => 'juicy joint',
'spider' => 'crawler octobrawler',
- 'spongebob' => 'absorbant squareguy',
- 'spring' => 'flowerseason',
'stairs' => 'broken escalator',
'Stardew Valley' => 'Farming Simulator 2016',
- 'sticky' => 'icky wicky',
- 'stolen' => 'nick wicketed',
'stupid' => 'stoopid',
- 'success' => 'Yahtzee!',
- 'summer' => 'sunseason',
'sunset' => 'skylight twilight',
- 'sunsets' => 'skylight twilights',
'sup' => 'soup',
- 'sweater' => 'sheepity sleepity',
- 'sweaters' => 'sheepity sleepities',
'sword' => 'silver stabby-wabby',
'swords' => 'silver stabby-wabbies',
+ 'tadpole' => 'baby wiggle-swimmer',
+ 'tadpoles' => 'baby wiggle-swimmers',
'tall' => 'giraffy',
- 'tarantula' => 'fuzzycrawler',
'taxation' => 'theft',
- 'tea' => 'leaf water',
'teeth' => 'mouthstones',
- 'testosterone' => 'man juice',
- 'tiger' => 'thundercat',
- 'tigers' => 'thundercats',
'tissue' => 'sneezepaper',
'tissues' => 'sneezepapers',
'toe' => 'foot finger',
'toes' => 'foot fingers',
- 'toilet' => 'porcelain poopshooter',
'tomorrow' => 'the day before two days from now',
- 'tongue' => 'flicky licker',
'tonight' => 'the night after last night',
'tooth' => 'mouthstone',
- 'toy' => 'bippity boppity',
+ 'trampoline' => 'boingy-sproingy',
+ 'trampolines' => 'boingy-sproingies',
'tree' => 'giant broccoli',
- 'trees' => 'giant broccolis',
'trick' => 'bamboozle',
'tricked' => 'bamboozled',
'two days ago' => 'a thousand years after 365002 days ago',
'two weeks' => 'a fortnight',
- 'umbrella' => 'bumbershoot',
- 'unicorn' => 'hornse',
'uwu' => '(｡◕‿‿◕｡)',
+ 'vegetable' => 'earth candy',
+ 'vegetables' => 'earth candies',
+ 'villain' => 'mean bad guy',
+ 'villains' => 'mean bad guys',
+ 'volcano' => 'angry earth-pimple',
+ 'volcanoes' => 'angry earth-pimples',
'wand' => 'rowdy spouty point-n-shouty',
'wands' => 'rowdy spouty point-n-shouties',
'wasp' => 'flying stingywingy',
'wasps' => 'flying stingywingies',
- 'watch out' => 'gardyloo',
- 'water' => 'water',
'wednesday' => 'wendsday',
- 'weed' => "devil's lettuce",
'weird' => 'wonky-donky',
- 'what is happening' => 'everything is fine',
'whale' => 'blubberbutt watermutt',
'whales' => 'blubberbutt watermutts',
'wheeze' => 'sneeze',
'wheezing' => 'sneezing',
- 'winter' => 'snowseason',
'wire' => 'electro-rope',
'wires' => 'electro-ropes',
'world hunger' => 'the hardest problem known to man',
@@ -382,30 +317,28 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'writing' => 'scribble scrabbling',
'writer' => 'scribble scrabbler',
'writers' => 'scribble scrabblers',
+ "writer's block" => 'imagination traffic jam',
'word' => 'wod',
'words' => 'wods',
'wordsmith' => 'wodsmith',
+ 'xylophone' => 'tinkly tonk plonker',
+ 'xylophones' => 'tinkly tonk plonkers',
+ 'year' => 'orbit party',
+ 'years' => 'orbit parties',
'yuge' => 'yuge',
'zalgo' => 'H̶̛̼̼̪̝̞͓̞͕͇̯͚͎͚̘̳͕̱̤̠̗͔͇̙̣̰͓̖̰̯̀̓̐̑̇͊͂̀͋̒̐̓͒̒͊͊̕͜͝ͅE̴̡̧̨̨̲̥̯͎̭̻̩̞̘̞̪̞̗̭͖̻͙͕͎̮͕̺͕̲̘̻̣͚̳̥͍̙͈͚͍͉̗͙̱͖͚̾̂̇͛̉͋͊̾͛̆̀́͑͛̅̋͊̕͘͜͜͜͝ͅͅͅͅ ̸̡̡̨̡̨̛̞͎̹̩̬̗̗̞̬̰̮̙̪̖͈̣̹͔̺̫̰̓̔̉̋̈̈́͐́̿̈̀͊̿̈̉̅̃̊̽͗̈̿̈́̓̈́̎͌̄̀̆̌̎͗̋͒̋̿̋̊̈́͆̋̾̈̏̈́̋̿̕̕̚͝͝͠͠ͅͅͅC̵̛̘̳͙̪̭͖̲̞̯̰̜͇̈̾̈́͋̌̉̽̽͑̎͌̾̈́͌̑͊̊̔̀͆̌̀̇̓͊̀̂̇̿̃͑́̈́̆͂̈́̾̓́̂̂̓̂̍̍͛͆͌͌̽̎̍̀̒̆̀͗͋͘͘͘͝͠͝͝͠͝͝Ǫ̸͕̻̞̝̜͚̗̮̼͎̤͔̤̱͔̫͂̄̉̋̈͊͐͂̇̀̌̎́͑̐̀̈́͋̓̾̅͒̒̄͑̒̆̑̾͜͝͝͝͝M̷̧̧̡̨̛̛̩̭̞͍̼̝̗͕̖͇̣̣̩͆̿̑͒́̉̅̓̌̆̈́͐͒̾̐̂̿̓̚͘̚͜E̵̡̨̢̧̢̢̡̢̨̛̠̱̻̺̦͚̹͓̬͔̪̟̼̥̯̠̘͚̫̯͍̺͔̫̟͇̱̦̟̪͚͉̣̳͓͍̬̙̲͔̘͙͔̤̰̜͍̠̩͉͐̂̊̏̐̿̊̋͑̿̇̊̈́͗̎̋́́̉̓̂̐͑̇̐̐͋́̒̈́͛͑͒̂͒̂̔̀̄̈́̓͂͆̈́͒̌͆̓͗̋͐̔̑͐̕͘ͅͅͅŞ̴̧̧̡̢̧̡̢͕̝͚̝̖͚̣̞̫̻̯͔̳̗̝̰̗̰̰̥̭͕̜̜̫͍̪̳̘̣̺̠͉̗̟͕̹͇̬̘̘̪͆͗̎̕',
+ 'zebra' => 'stripey horse',
+ 'zebras' => 'stripey horses',
}
OVERLOAD_WORDS_REPLACEMENTS = {
'bad' => 'bodge',
- 'knee' => 'leg hinge',
- 'knees' => 'leg hinges',
- 'depression' => 'megasadness',
- 'ice cream' => 'eyes cream',
- 'life' => 'like a box of chocolates',
- 'strawberry' => 'plastic tubefruit',
- 'gremlin' => 'extremely smart alien being that is here to help',
- 'gremlins' => 'extremely smart alien beings that are here to help',
'soul' => 'inner ghost',
'dance' => 'woopwoop',
'curling iron' => 'medieval torture device',
'insurance' => 'the biggest scam known to man',
'lemonade' => 'sour drank',
'salamander' => 'baby dragon',
- 'scrolling' => 'vertically surfing through a screen',
'subtext' => 'subtweeting but IRL',
'how' => 'how now brown cow',
'midnight' => 'dayover',
@@ -416,9 +349,6 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'internet' => 'series of electrotubes',
'highlighted' => 'becoming better',
'backfired' => 'went incredibly well',
- 'football' => 'soccer',
- 'baseball' => 'throwing soccer',
- 'basketball' => 'dribbling soccer',
'volleyball' => 'beach air soccer',
'rule' => 'law you must obey',
'rules' => 'laws you must obey',